Navigating Desire and Intimacy in Postnatal Motherhood
Lust: Sexuality After Birth
Female sexuality has a long history of being treated as shameful, inappropriate, or inconvenient. In the postnatal period that stigma collides with a body that has fundamentally changed, hormones that have shifted dramatically, a relationship under new pressure, and a level of physical exhaustion that leaves little room for anything else.
What Actually Happens to Sexuality After Birth
This episode looks honestly at what actually happens to sexuality after birth. Hormones, particularly during breastfeeding, suppress libido and affect vaginal tissue. The experience of being physically needed by a baby all day can make the idea of further physical contact feel overwhelming. Pelvic floor changes, healing wounds, prolapse, and body image all play a role. There is no correct timeline for any of this.
Peta and Frances are direct about the misinformation circulating on social media, where unqualified voices set unrealistic expectations about how quickly women should return to previous levels of sexual activity. The evidence suggests most women take six to twelve months. That is not a problem to fix. It is a normal recovery process.
The episode also addresses something that still happens and should not: the idea that a woman’s body after birth needs to be corrected for a partner’s benefit. It does not.
Sexuality after birth is not just about sex. It is about reclaiming your body as your own, rebuilding intimacy at a pace that works for you, and not losing sight of who you are outside of being a mother.
Developed by the WHEN Clinical Team. Clinically reviewed by the WHEN Clinical Governance Committee. Last reviewed: 22/06/2026.
With clinical input from Peta Titter, RN, Grad Cert Continence Nursing, Advanced Diploma of Pilates. Honours by Research (diastasis recti). PhD candidate, University of Tasmania. Founder and CEO, WHEN.
With clinical input from Frances Bilbao, Master of Psychology (Clinical), MAPS, Fellow of the College of Clinical Psychologists. Director and Clinical Psychologist, Mums Matter Psychology. National Convenor, APS Perinatal and Infant Psychology Interest Group. 2024 Cartier Women’s Initiative Fellow. Allied Health Awards Psychologist of the Year 2020-2021.
Thanks to Jill Norton and Tim Jones for the music, Danae Thorp from Spellbox for the botanical symbolism, Cameron Heit and the team at Production Farm Studios for the production, and Alex Ennis for assistance with the artwork.
Symbolizing the Sins with Nature
Need Immediate Help?
If you or someone you know is struggling during the postnatal period, it’s crucial to remember that immediate help is available. Here are steps and resources you can turn to:
In Urgent Situations:
Support Services:
Remember, you are not alone, and reaching out for help is a step toward healing. Your well-being is important, and support is just a phone call away.