Pride: You Are Allowed to Think You Are Doing a Good Job

Pride has historically been considered the worst of the deadly sins, the root of all the others. For women in the postnatal period it takes a particular form. Not arrogance or vanity, but the simple act of acknowledging that what they are doing is hard, valuable, and worth recognising.

Pride has historically been considered the worst of the deadly sins, the root of all the others. Postnatal pride rarely looks like arrogance or vanity. More often it is the simple act of acknowledging that what you are doing is hard, valuable, and worth recognising. Society makes this surprisingly difficult. A father who does basic caregiving gets praised. A mother doing the same thing, plus everything else, is just doing what is expected.

Peta and Frances look at the difference between internal pride and external validation. External validation is unreliable. It depends on other people noticing, comparing, and approving. Internal pride is quieter and more durable. It is the capacity to look at what you have done and acknowledge it honestly, without needing someone else to confirm it first.

The episode also looks at what gets in the way. Social media presents curated versions of motherhood that make ordinary, genuine effort feel insufficient. Unsolicited advice and peer comparison can quietly erode confidence. Mothers who are stretched across multiple roles and multiple children rarely have space to stop and notice what they are actually managing.

Whatever stage you are in right now is probably the hardest stage you have faced so far. That does not mean you are failing. It means parenting keeps changing, and you keep adapting.